Mangled Sayings

I enjoyed reading people’s mangled sayings recently. It all began when I overheard this brilliant example:

These were sent to me on twitter:

And these were sent to me on Facebook:

Dilwyn Jones: It’s not rocket surgery

Lee Chappell: They’re sweating adrenhilin

Sally Harrold: Sorry I’m late, the roads are chocolate block

Dilwyn Jones: That really gets up my goat

Helun Ford: Can’t pull the wool from under my eyes

Dominic Conway: ‘Don’t look at me with that tone of voice’ and even broadcasters talk about situations being ‘on tenderhooks’.

Clive Witcomb: My face, from a dozy former colleague taking about the one book she’d ever read- “It’s a minefield of information”!

Carl Roberts: When I persuaded my Uncle Bryn to stay for a cup of tea in my house he said “go on then, you’ve twisted my leg”

Iola Protheroe: If you’re not careful I’ll be taking you home lost.

Lee Masters: Now the shoes on the other hand

Jonathan Morgan: She’s bitten her nose off despite her face

Rebecca Hood: I’ve only got two pairs of hands

Lisa Banton: The sky is your lobster!

Andy Collinson: Give her enough rope and she’ll shoot herself and opening a can of snails .. I kid you not. Best of all…. What have you been doing ? Oh, just walking up the Hayes, kicking heels

Zoe Thomas: Bullet a gate

Malcolm Haley: Here’s one from Eleanor when she was about 3, trying to tell us who’s the boss – “I’m the voice of a Dorothy round here!”

Richard Wyn Jones: Don’t cross your bridges before they hatch!

Ade Masters: My mother once said to me , ” I can read you like a record “!!

Ian Blanken: Don’t come running to me if you fall and break your leg !

Joey Dubs: I once heard someone say whilst trying to belittle me, ‘no shit Shylock’!


2 thoughts on “Mangled Sayings

  1. My grandma used to say, on hearing that somebody had got a new job – ‘Oh, was (s)he headpoached?’

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